Not so Cool at the Pool - Learning to Swim

After making the decision to attempt to do a Sprint Triathlon, I gathered up the courage to begin my swim training at the local pool in the Winter of 2010.  I didn't make it much farther than 2 lengths of the pool before having to stop and quit take a break, I realized I needed to quit some help.
I went to a beginner swim lesson given by LisaB, founder of the TriBabe Training Group. She taught me the single most important thing I learned during that first year (besides not drowning): four part breathing. Apparently, one of the reasons that you get out of breath so quickly when swimming, is that you are actually hyperventilating by doing only inhale-exhale breaths. Four part breathing is inhale, hold, exhale, hold.  Slowing down the breathing this way helped me tremendously.  She also taught me to take deep belly breaths when inhaling by pushing out your tummy (actually the opposite of what we naturally do when taking a deep breath).  So now, not only do I look like a dork in a swim cap, nose clip, and purple ear plugs; but I am actually pushing OUT my belly at every opportunity. Who am I?!

Armed with help with my breathing, I went back to the pool and started to improve…very SLOWly. My stroke was (and still is) very SLOW. My goal was not speed, my goal was just a SLOW, steady non-stopping, non-drowning pace for 17 laps (1/2 mile). Oh, and I went really SLOW.  The other swimmers inthe lanes next to me would whip by me like a blur. Did I mention I was really SLOW? I would swim a couple times a week. The first 10-15 minutes of it was filled with the usual ‘WTF am I doing this for? Who do I think I am anyway? I look like an idiot! This is dumb. I can’t do this!’ mind chatter.  If I made it to After 20 minutes, I would calm down and notice that I actually enjoyed swimming.  It was calming, and almost Zen-like.  I could let my mind wander, not have to listen to anything but the sloshing of the pool water through my ears (j/k,I wore ear plugs), not think about anything – wait – what lap count was that? 12?14? Damn. I needed a lap counter. So I made one: 

My homemade lap counter

It worked ok – I would move the little washers from one side to the other at the end of each lap. The only problem was it sometimes left a little rust stain on the side of the pool. Not cool. I also got some funny looks by other swimmers at the pool.

Goggles became the biggest challenge in swimming during year 1.  I started out with a random pair that where cheap.  They worked ok in the pool, but the puffy,raccoon look FOR DAYS AFTER was a no-go for me (“Gee, you look tired, are you OK?”).  Then I got an expensive pair, but had the same results. Thus, the $ix month $erious $earch for $imple, non-leaking,non-eye-bag$-enhancing goggle$ began.  I searched Google for goggle suggestions and was actually a little freaked out when one poster mentioned that she had PERMANENT goggle bags under her eyes. Yikes! ‘Maybe this wasn't for me,’ my ‘vain self’ shouted to my ‘obsessed self’.  No use, ‘obsessed self’ wasn't backing down. $o,I kept $earching. The UPS driver and I were on a first name basis as he brought me goggle after goggle in little brown Amazon boxes (thinking about opening up a used goggle store now or a cardboard arcade like Caine’s).

Damn sexy, no? NO!

I finally settled on a pair of what I call ‘old lady’ goggles because I never see the young gals wearing them.  They did NOT cause the goggle bags; however, they did still periodically leak.  It seemed to be a random crap shoot whether or not they would leak on any given practice or race – maybe it was tied to the phase of the moon, or whether or not I had been kind to someone that day, or whether I had positioned them microscopically too far north or south on my head.

And don’t even get me started on the goggle fogging. Oy! I knew from my snorkeling days, that spitting into your goggles will prevent fogging.  However,right before a race you can literally be scared spit-less.  I bought anti-fogger and use it regularly.  Or, if I forget it, my loving husband has spit in my goggles for me on a few occasions. Now, that’s true love.

Sometimes I can be pretty observant, so I learned early on that swimming laps at the pool in a bikini is frowned upon. Whatever.  Back to Amazon to order a swimsuit. Well, buyer beware, because swimsuits have some unheard of sizing structure, which I still have not figured out. Best I can tell is order at least 3 sizes bigger than you think you need.  Normally, I order swimsuits with padding up top, because 1) I have no boobs and 2) I have pointy nipples (“Gee, are you cold or what??”).  Apparently, padding is not aerodynamic in the water, so very few competitive swimsuits have padding. Boo! So, now you’re telling me I have to be in a swim cap, old lady goggles, nose clip, purple ear plugs AND display my 2 radio tuners to the world?  Ugh.  I did find one suit that had removable pads, which I will never succumb to again.  Have you ever tried to put those little triangles back in once they come out in the wash? C’est impossible!  They end up all crooked and folded and your boobs look like they have creases in them.  Double ugh. Needless to say, I am very thankful when wet suit season arrives!

I overcame some of these first-year swim challenges.  I was able to ditch the purple ear plugs and got used to water in my ears.  I still tolerate the not-so-cool nose clip because it is much better than 24+ hours of sneezing out chlorine or lake scum.  I got a little lap counter that fits on my finger, so I can really let my mind go during swims (sorta -- wait -- did I click the counter or not? Ummm.).  I finally found a pair of non ‘old lady’ goggles that don’t leave marks under my eyes –instead they leave marks on the sides of my eyes -- a cool cat eye mark slightly reminiscent of the cat eyeliner popular now.  And they don’t leak! Well, hardly ever.  So far.  Knock on wood. I better be kind to someone today, just in case.

Now that all that is taken care of, I can concentrate on making that SLOW stroke into a faster one!